the grace of giving.

What you hold to as a need can be valuable as a seed.

In the last blog entries I talked about how God has moved me to give to Lou and Lloyd despite the state of need I was in. I didn’t realize that what I did with the provision available during those two separate occasions was not to see it as an answer to a need, but as a seed that i must sow.

They say that you can count the number of seeds in an apple, but you can’t count the apples that come from a seed. I saw this come to pass as I watched Lou and Lloyd’s life this year.  The things that God had asked me to sow in their lives started to bear fruit and become seeds themselves.

Lou. It has been his faith goal to go to missions this year. A faith goal that has become a reality. Early this year, he committed to raise support for a Ten Days mission trip to Hong Kong. It was a journey of faith for him as he believed for provision - and God showed up, faithfully bridging the gap in an amazing way.

Though Lou knew he was going to missions this year, he didn’t know how God intended to use him there. Early in their trip, the Holy Spirit nudged him to give to the church. Though unsure at first, he found himself whole-heartedly giving not just a token, but the most important thing he owned at that time - his Macbook Pro. Now you have to understand that two years back, we prayed and believed God for this computer. It was a dream and a prayer that God answered - a blessing that suddenly turned into an offering. What he held on to as a need, he considered a seed to be sown into the growing church in Hong Kong.

Suffice it to say, it proved difficult to paint Pastor Sam’s face when he received the Macbook Pro from Lou. The church didn’t have a computer and Pastor Sam had to volunteer his mac week after week since the start of his ministry there. What became a seed met another’s need. What was given in obedience became an answer to the prayers of many. From this act of giving, Lou continued on a lifestyle of giving, being generous on all occasions.

Today, Lou is engaged to Sarah. Though they need to prepare financially, both Lou and Sarah made sure they continue their lifestyle of giving. And God has been faithful in providing for their wedding needs month after month as the day approaches.

There’s more to this story - but I will tell of it another time. For now, I will allow God to let things unfold.

Lloyd. Not long after he received his netbook, God opened a door for Lloyd to give. Their househelp’s son just graduated from high school in the province and wanted to see his mom but did not have the resource. Despite not having income, Lloyd chose to be a blessing and sponsored the son’s trip to Manila so he can celebrate his graduation with his mom. At that time, the dwindling savings Lloyd held on to as need, he considered a seed to be sown into the family of his househelp as a statement of God’s grace and provision.

But it didn’t end there. With college, comes some very practical needs. Lloyd, realizing this, volunteered to give up his functioning laptop and gave it as a gift to their househelp’s son. He also took the time to teach the boy how to use and maximize the notebook. He understood that the notebook would be of greater value if it did not remain with him; that investing it would yield a greater harvest.

There were many more acts of giving from Lloyd after this. Like Lou, giving became part of his lifestyle. And God showed himself faithful. Today, Lloyd is on the first month of operation of his newly opened Petron gas station in Pampanga. So far, sales have been increasing and exceeding his initial forecast. I won’t be too surprised if God causes Lloyd’s business to multiply exponentially.

The point of me blogging this is not to say that we ought to just give out laptops (surprisingly the common theme in both stories). What I do want to point out is that the word of God remains true in this:

Now he who supplies the seed to the sower and bread for food will also supply and increase your store of seed and will enlarge the harvest of your righteousness.

2 Corinthians 9:10

As we turn our need into a seed, God has a way of not only providing for everything we need, but also increasing our store of seed that we can continually give away and sow into the people around us.

Last March, I caught up with my famliy in Hong Kong to celebrate my sister’s birthday. I think it was more a present than a celebration, but all the same it was a welcome break for me. I wasn’t able to shop much, but I did end up buying a Lenovo netbook.

Funny story: when I entered the electronics store, the first Lenovo netbook that I inquired about (latest processor, awesome keyboard) ended up in the counter. It was an instant purchase. I couldn’t explain it, but I was 100% certain it was the right thing to do.

In my mind, the underlying reason for the purchase was to use a Windows PC as my non-work computer instead of my Mac. I reasoned it was an integrity thing. Little did I know, God had another plan.

Fast forward a few weeks - I learned that Lloyd was about to take a 4-week training at Petron. He’s been meaning to get a new laptop to kick-off his training and his business but couldn’t justify the cost since he hasn’t started earning yet. So that takes it out of budget scope.

So I decided to lend Lloyd the netbook. I still have my Mac and my work laptop anyway. I told him this would be my investment for his new business. Although partly in jest, I just knew that I would make good that intention and will end up giving it to him sometime this year. I still haven’t found the right time to do it.

Until last night.

Now that God has just erased my debts and restored my emergency funds, I’m back in the position to give. At the same time, it was only this week that Lloyd finally came to realize he wanted a netbook more than a super-powered laptop after his training at Petron. So in the middle of our conversation at starbucks, God just impressed in my heart: “Jay, just give it.”

And so I did.

It was a memorable moment. A God moment. Lloyd could barely speak, overwhelmed with what God has placed before him. It was the same for me. I knew there was a reason why I was so certain when I bought that thing.

What looked like an unreasonable instant purchase back in March was actually God’s plan to hand this provision to Lloyd, with a timed delay. It was a synchronized pass of sorts. The best part in this process is that I get to particpate as a messenger and a distributor of His graces. As for money, it was never an issue. God is not intimidated with credit card bills and bank account statements. What’s important is a heart that is willing to obey when He says ‘give’. Everything else will fall in its place.

Did I end up losing when I gave? No. In fact, I got more - first with financial provision, and second, with a chance to speak about the goodness of God not with words but with my life.

Last Monday, I was ecstatic to discover that the Shepherd’s Staff at Greenbelt 1 has been replaced by OMF Lit. I’ve been meaning to go to the OMF store in Mandaluyong for years now, but I never seem to hard code it into my schedule. 

After some years of waiting, I finally found a copy of the New Evidence that Demands a Verdict by Josh Macdowell. It’s in my must-have book list, being one of the best books in apologetics. But I also know that if there’s one person who would really really appreciate this book - it would be Andre.

With no more copies left (coz Andrew couldn’t stop himself from buying the last copy), I decided to give out what I really wanted for myself. At the end of the day, I’d rather see someone go deeper in his walk with God than me completing my library. 

It’s amazing how God can reverse a situation.

Just two weeks back, I decided to obey God in giving out to missions even if my bank account was still on the RED. The last of my emergency funds got drained when God moved me to bless my sister with a netbook and model generosity to my small group. On top of that, I still haven’t received my January salary so there’s virtually no giving room to spare. It was a choice to walk by faith and not by my bank account.

But God is faithful. He has a way of rewarding faith and obedience. Two weeks later, my managing director in Unilever emails me about last year’s variable pay (conversation above). After opening the attachment, I was left speechless in silent worship. The size of the bonus was enough to totally wipe out all my debts AND restore my emergency funds right before I gave it up during the Bohol Singles Retreat. This is after he has given me a new job, a new car and favor to secure a condo.

When He who owns everything decides to give back - he gives back in greater measure indeed.

I can’t really explain it, but I felt God move me to get Lou an iPhone for his birthday. There were alternatives, in fact a lot of other good alternatives, but I couldn’t shake off the settling certainty that moves me to take again from my embattled savings account right after the Bohol Retreat.

Though I didn’t understand it, I just chose to obey God. Yes, I love my brother and I want to give him the best, but he had a greater purpose. He asked me to give so that He could speak a clear message, not to Lou, but to his family. Coming from a Chinese family that puts a high premium on money, it was unthinkable for someone to just give generously without hesitation - especially to the measure of something highly valuable like an iPhone.

Knowing that I was able to preach a Christianity that is real and concrete and true to Lou’s famliy with my giving was enough. To me, money has been and will always remain to be but a tool to make disciples and bring people to Jesus.

*I tagged this entry in December of 2009, but as a follow-up to this - I’m happy to report that Lou’s sister, Criselle, after seeing my life, my giving, and my relationship with Lou has decided to go all out for Christ. She went through Victory weekend in April of 2010 and is now making disciples.

You never know how God will decide to use us.

All I know is that I’m available and I’m willing :)

Perhaps the single, most life-changing thing that happened to me this year was Fuzion - the Bohol Singles Retreat this 2009.

My faith for the Singles Retreat was to hold it in Bohol - that there will be a special favor from God and that there will be something different. God did answer according to my faith, BUT not according to my terms.

The challenges started when our partnership with the U-Belt church got called off, less than 2 weeks before we needed to launch. The rates were too expensive for them, and up till that point we still didn’t have favor in the rates - both airline and hotel. My faith was to believe for the best venue, without compromise. Bohol Beach Club would definitely be our target.

After fasting and asking direction from the Holy Spirit, God spoke to me through the story of David, when he pushed to conduct a census against the advise of his counselors (Read 2 Samuel 24). God’s anger burned and he sent a plague over the land - and this was David’s response:

¹⁷David saw the angel killing everyone and told the LORD, “These people are like sheep with me as their shepherd. I have sinned terribly, but they have done nothing wrong. Please, punish me and my family instead of them!”

and

²⁴ But the king replied to Araunah, “No, I insist on paying you for it. I will not sacrifice to the LORD my God burnt offerings that cost me nothing.”

This was how i felt. Did i push for Bohol out of faith or out of my own will? Will people not know God in the Single’s retreat because i pushed for the rates of Bohol Beach Club? Lord, if I heard wrong, please don’t let them pay the consequence for my decisions! So I prayed, “Dad, let me take on the consequence instead of them. If I have to offer my savings account to help the rates be accessible - take it God. I will not give you an offering that cost me nothing.”

I can’t really remember how much I gave out. Likely more than 40K. I ended up sponsoring people (Lloyd, Rytz, Gian, JenJen…I can’t remember the others) as well as logistics. I gave resources for us to plan in Tagaytay and at my place. It didn’t matter to what extent i needed to give. All that mattered to me was to make the rates as accessible as possible so no one will be hindered in experiencing God in this event.

But I wasn’t the only one giving - everyone gave. We mounted a White Elephant Sale and a fund-raising round for Plugged. The team expanded. They were not only giving money and stuff, but their time, their effort, and their talents.

I knew God was dealing with me and the team when He impressed this in my heart. For the record, nothing went according to plan - Ondoy happened. Pastor Joey and Marie didn’t make it. PAL didn’t give us a group rate for the first time. 

But amidst all these, he showed himself sovereign: The two events (White Elephant Sale and Plugged) that sprung out from our fasting brought in new people in the Singles ministry and core team. God spoke the Word through me and Pastor Nixon in the absence of Pastor Joey. New relationships were formed, some of them highly improbable in any other situation. Those who were doubting found God in these new-found friendships. Others had a fresh encounter with God. My entire small group ended up in Victory Weekend, either as counselors or as counselees. A new set of people were added to the Singles core team to organize Plugged for Christmas.

All these against the backdrop of a raging, historic typhoon that changed the country. There was a divine order amidst the seeming chaos.

Looking back, it could only have been the hand of the Master who put this together. We were all changed in this entire process. Each person had a story of his or her encounter with God. What started in giving rippled into the lives of many. For me, I gave to see lives changed…only to find out that it was God who changed me in the end.

As I look back, God taught me that His grace works in our giving as much as it does in receiving.